Episode 8, Season 1

Episode 8, Season 1
Get out of the shower, Estelle! Too many people in the house with not enough showers and the traffic jam is just getting too much. Estelle is off to visit her well-to-do son Frank in Milwaukee, and if we are to believe as she says: each and every one of his bathrooms has a shower (one with a hot tub!). Carl gets the hint and decides a shower needs to be installed in his mother’s bathroom – and much to Harriette’s chagrin he plans to install it himself. Carl has a long track record of disastrous repairs and carpentry projects, including a Bird House that was condemned by the Audubon Society. Rachel meanwhile is bragging to anyone who will listen that her infant son Richie had said “Mama” for the first time, but he utters nary a peep around any other family member. Carl decides to humor Harriette and allows a contractor to come in and survey the project, but he laughs in the contractors face once he receives the estimate – she insists she will be return after his impending failure and is not impressed by the fact that Carl is a member of the “Tool of the Month Club”. Carl enlists Edward as his crew member and things spin out of control – in a wild session of stumbling and bumbling Carl nearly trashes the entire bathroom in a few short seconds when he attempts to find a stud in the wall. Rachel continues her pursuit to prove to everyone that Richie can speak and begins recording his every waking moment – Carl suggests maybe Rachel misheard a burp. The shower instalation is hitting snags but an even bigger kink forms when Estelle calls home and tells Harriette she will be coming home days early because she is sick and tired of her cheap son Frank “Every time he takes her to a restaurant he makes her order from the children’s menu.” Carl calls an audible and changes into a hurry up offense and informs Eddie that they need to finish the project tonight! Harriette is shocked when she checks up on the progress and sees the bathroom is still in a mess, Carl insists he is nearly done – but when they try to run the shower the sink faucet starts pouring and vice versa. After some serious nagging at Carl that he will never complete the project, Carl accepts and feels degraded at his lack of handiness “ …being good with your hands is part of what makes a man.” Harriette prattles off some line about being good with your heart being what makes you a man, and that seems to make Carl feel better. With time running out they hire a contractor in the middle of the night and they complete the installation. Estelle returns home and is eager to use her new shower after long trip back from her cheapskate son’s home “Ya know, I took a bunch of Frank’s towels!” The chapter ends with Little Richie saying “Mama” to an empty room just after Rachel leaves to get new batteries for her tape recorder – whoops!!

LESSON: Don’t let your mother move in with you.

CHARADES WITH EDDIE:

Eddie's guesses for this movie title charade:


-Rainman

-Ghostbusters

-Lethal Weapon 2







The correct answer is “The Unbearable Lightness of Being” – obviously.

Episode 7, Season 1

Carl has big, massive, gigantic news! Not only does he have the best safety record in the city, not only will he be driving in the Columbus Day Parade, but get this – he will be the lead car! He won’t be driving just any old black and white cruiser either; it’s the antique squad car Eliott Ness drove and the Police station has found it to make sense for Carl to park it at his house. The classic car exposes Rachel as a car lover when she rattles off the make, year, and engine specifics of the old car. She’s desperate to drive it but Carl warns the entire family that no one can touch it except him. Carl is so excited by his big news he decides to conk out on the couch, while he slumbers Harriette and Rachel let their curiosity get the best of them and they convince themselves that they can safely drive the antique car around the block. But as quickly as Rachel can drive the car out of the garage she smashes the fender into a tree! Luckily we learned earlier that Rachel has been taking adult education classes in car repair, she’s positive she can fix the 1934 era Ford fender over night and keep it all a secret from safety record holding Carl and she knows he won’t forgive her “You know he still hasn’t forgiven me for breaking his Flintstones coffee mug!” The two sisters combine their Crawford powers and begin the grand cover up; Harriette takes the house to ensure Carl stays away until the fender is finished and Rachel attempts to see if she earned that “A” she got in body repair. Harriette deftly weaves various lies with the children to distract Carl from the grand racket in the driveway. Rachel makes a shortened deadline due to Carl’s eagerness to prepare for the parade and has the fender fixed and attached to the car just in time. However, as soon as Carl leaves the house he returns with detached (yet spotless) fender in hand and warns everyone when he completes the parade he will use his keen detective skills to find the culprit, and continues on, presumably with re-attached fender. When Carl arrives home after the festivities he receives a round of apologies from the family for aiding in the cover-up and from Rachel for smashing the fender, Carl accepts and reminds them to keep him involved in family problems. At the end of the chapter Carl reveals he also wrecked the car “After the parade I accidentally backed into the Sons of Italy float”.

LESSON: Take an adult education course.

WHOA, COOL IT EDDIE:

Episode 6, Season 1

The Winslow’s have been rummaging through Eddies trash! Carl is shocked to discover a discarded bulletin announcing that basketball tryouts are in three weeks and feels that they may have missed the proper jump to get Eddie into playing shape. Carl confronts Eddie and immediately embarks him on a grueling workout regimen and forces him to name his basketball; Eddie chooses “Fred”. The training begins with standard drills, dribbling for miles while his dad drives along side in a car, and waking up at dawn on the weekend for even more drills. Carl runs Edward ragged during a long practice session and Eddie decides that sacrificing all his free time isn’t worth it and quits basketball (forever). In a panic Carl quickly heads down to Chicago Stadium to buy Bulls tickets where he runs into pro basketball super star Will “The Thrill” Morgan. Carl scams the star into thinking that he wants to buy his used Porsche and that they should settle the sale at the Winslow’s home. The scam blows up in Carl’s face, but “The Thrill” isn’t fazed by Carl’s audacity and agrees to spend the afternoon playing basketball with total strangers. The Thrill shows Eddie some impressive moves and agrees to give Eddie some advice; after several hours alone together Eddie and The Thrill arrive back at the Winslow’s homestead and Carl assumes the superstar ball player will have convinced Edward to continue basketball. He doesn’t, in fact he confirms for Eddie that basketball isn’t his dream and that he should pursue his own interests not just his fathers. Carl realizes he can’t force Eddie to pursue dreams that aren’t his own, and Eddie admits he doesn’t have any dreams other than ones of girls and taking said girls to the movies. The chapter ends with Eddie spreading ice cream onto some wretched muffins Rachel had made earlier in the day.

LESSON: Bold faced lies can be a useful tool.

WEIRD FRIDGE POSTER ANALYSIS:


This poster features a drawing of a pigs head underneath the word "Love". Carl is overweight(pig) and is also a cop(pig) and whomever drew it surely loves him. Carl Winslow is a beloved pig.

Episode 5, Season 1

Its report card day at the Winslow’s! This is always an exciting time of the year for 2/3rds of the Winslow children because Carl has enacted an incentive program that for each “A” grade a child receives they earn $5.00. It quickly becomes apparent which child will be receiving the lowest income when Eddie has to ask his grade school aged sister what “incentive” means and explains to his father before he opens the report card that he may have failed a math test due to dizziness. Oh, but hold the phone, what’s this?! Edward turns in a report card consisting purely straight A’s! While Laura is shocked and devastated that she has for the first time in her life received a single grade lower than an “A” when its revealed she earned a B+ in history. Laura plummets into deep depression over the results of her report card, while Eddie is flying sky high. However, he is quickly shot down after his buddy Rodney (a legendary prankster) reveals that he manufactured fake report cards for all his friends and mailed them out “You thought you were smart? What are you stupid?” Laura continues to mope around the house and refuses any inkling of pleasure until she rights her errant ways, but Harriette quickly spins a good old-fashioned cookie analogy to bring Laura back to earth. Eddies false report card infects Carl with a wild fever of pride for his son’s sudden spark of intelligence and begins showering Edward with expensive gifts and researching Ivy League colleges. Eddie knows he is a fraud, and after consulting his aunt on how he should handle the situation, good guy Eddie decides the best route is to own up to the truth and breaks the news to his father about the trumped up report card that zing-master Rodney had generated. One would expect the real report card to showcase Eddie as an absolute dullard, but its actually a career best of four C’s and two B’s! Harriette is delighted, and after some coaxing Carl is delighted as well. Carl realizes he has put too much pressure on Eddie and agrees to ease up over grades. The episode ends with aunt Rachel hitting on a Harvard recruiter who arrived that Carl forgot to cancel.

LESSON: Don’t trust your friends.

RODNEY ALERT!:

Episode 4, Season 1

This chapter begins with a rude and unwelcome interruption! A spindly nerd barges into the kitchen and hustles Carl out of the fantastic fudge sunday he was constructing; I am not sure who he is but he claims to know Laura and Carl is familiar with him enough. I sure hope he doesn’t come around again, Carl is stressed enough as it is.

Carl and Harriette need a break! What better way then send the kids off to some sleep-overs’ and head out for a night on the town? But wait, the kids aren’t the only ones that cramp Carl and Harriette’s style – there is Harriette’s widowed sister Rachel. Her husband has been dead for a year and half now and she’s avoiding the dating scene and tagging along with the Winslow’s. After spoiling their dinner and a movie date Carl snaps on Rachel “Rachel you gotta start dating again you’re driving us nuts!” Harriette and Carl suggest “Alan” an upstanding bolt in the Church Choir that has asked Rachel out several times but she has always politely declined. He phones again and with some nudging along from Harriette she agrees to a date. Alan arrives to the house on date night and is forced to be entertained by Carl, Eddie and Laura while Rachel drags her feet on what to wear. Carl put his foot in his mouth a few times with comments about Doctors (Alan is one) and when he tries to brag about his pull at the restaurant Chez Josephine (Alan’s family owns it); Eddie offers up some magic tricks but fails miserably when he can’t guess Alan’s card after at least seven guesses. Rachel changes through her entire wardrobe in order to stall, she’s too nervous about dating again – leave it to Estelle to give Rachel the patented Winslow ‘heart to heart’ as no one in the house can better relate to being a widow. Estelle alludes to some sordid affairs in her past and that gives Rachel the confidence to move on and head out on the date with Alan. The chapter ends with Rachel arriving back from the date and Carl being denied any juicy details.

LESSON: Just have your 15 year old son or elderly Mother watch the kids and go out whenever you want.

HARRIETTE LOVES CARL:

Episode 3, Season 1

The mail delivers double trouble for the Winslow’s: Carl loses his marbles over a high water bill; Harriette’s sister Rachel receives a rejection letter from a science fiction magazine for her tattoo-alien-trucker story. Edward continues his usual bumbling and floods the front yard after he left the sprinkler on all day adding fuel to the fire for Carl’s water bill woes, “I have to rent scuba gear to get the evening paper!” Rachel solves her writers block and gets a short story purchased by a national magazine after taking on the advice from Harriette about writing something she is familiar with, and her niece’s passing comment about how she should write about their feuding family “People love stories of domestic violence!” The family reads the story and discovers it’s a trashy piece focusing on thinly veiled copies of them highlighting their negative attributes. This sours Rachel and Harriette's relationship because Harriette feels she was cast as an overbearing tyrant. Edward feels he is cast in a great light as a babe magnet and coins himself Edward “Stud” Winslow and uses the story as a confidence booster to ask a girl out. Carl convinces the two sisters to speak to each other and overcome their differences. Rachel owes up to her true feelings about how her older sister treats her; Harriette realizes she has been bossy and agrees to show Rachel more respect. The chapter ends with Edward returning home disheveled after getting beaten up by the girl’s boyfriend ‘Bubba’.

LESSON: Just forget about the water bill.

Episode 2, Season 1

Money is getting tight in the Winslow house and the bills keep piling up! Carl suggests wife Harriette ask for a raise at the Newspaper she runs the elevator for; when she does they inform her they are installing a self-service elevator and promptly fire her. Edward wants new high tops because he feels his are out of date; new Air Jordan’s cost $70.00 but that price is laughable to penny pinching Carl “Edward, I wouldn’t pay $70.00 for pair of shoes if Lola Falana was in them!” Harriette begins looking for work and is turned down left and right due to her limited working experience. Eddie, despite the family’s troubles and the fact that he is seen wearing two different pairs of spotless high tops, continues demanding new shoes; Carl try's to teach Eddie about saving his money, but Eddie isn't keeping up “Use my own money?! For shoes?!” After so many rejections and a depressing “Depression Dinner” cooked by depression survivor Estelle makes Harriette depressed. Carl cheers his wife up with a pep talk where he refers to her as: “…a great product that sells itself.” Harriette applies for a Security management position at her old employer, and after an initial rejection she rattles off a rant about being a mother and how much that qualifies her for the job. It pays off and she is hired! Edward finally understands what’s been happening over the past week and gives his savings to his father to help with bills. The chapter ends with Carl recounting how it took him 5 attempts to pass the Sergeant’s exam.

LESSON: Find a job that will never be swallowed up by advancements in technology.

NICE SHIRT CARL:

Episode 1, Season 1

Carl’s mother Estelle is moving in and its going to be a power play for whom will run this over crowded house! Carl denies his son Edward permission to attend a late night Rambo Party, when his grandmother finds out she sides with her grandson and berates Carl for being old fashioned “Oh Carl, it’s almost the 90’s! Lighten up!” Estelle doesn’t limit her criticism to Carl either; she has serious issues with her Daughter-in-law Harriette's meal choices and late dinner time “I’m sorry Honey, we got to eat now! Or I won’t be regular for a week!” Estelle is driving the couple bonkers; Carl nips it in the bud with his Mother by having a heart to heart conversation and agree that Carl needs to trust Edward and that Estelle needs to accept an advisory position within the house. After nearly busting Edward peeping on a neighbor, Carl agrees to make an exception to Eddie’s curfew and let him attend the Rambo Party. The chapter ends with the family singing “He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands” around the family piano.

LESSON: You’re mother can be real bossy unless you put her in her place.

WHOOPS: You can see a big wrinkle in the fake grass outside the family’s porch.